The Most Random Story You Will Ever Hear
by kilala-doll
Summary: Random


InuYasha  
  
Part One  
  
Chapter One: The Shopping Spree  
  
Kagome decided that InuYasha and the rest of the team work too hard on killing monsters and collecting the shikon jewel. So knowing Kagome she took them all to her local shopping mall for a day of shopping. (Well what do you expect to do at a shopping mall?) Except Shippou. He decided that he wanted to stay in his own time and try to get a piece of the shikon jewel. Kagome insisted that he come but he refused and wanted to spend the day working.(Like he would ever do that!!!)  
  
Wail Kagome and InuYasha were in the Victoria's Secret, Miroku and Songo wanted to take a look around this strange place. (To them only.) Kagome was in the change room trying on new clothing and InuYasha was leaning up against the change room. "Kagome! Why do I have to stay in here with you? Why can't I go with Miroku and Songo? And besides...THIS IS A WOMEN'S STORE I FEEL SO INBEARIST!!!" InuYasha yelled. "Because I need new clothing and you will go and goof off somewhere and I will have to pay for the damages." Kagome told him. "You are the reckless one in the group and you need to be supervised at all times in this world. Before you say anything Miroku and Songo are staying together and keeping eachother out of trouble. Comprendo?" She barked. "Why I oda..." InuYasha muttered to himself. Then jumped over the wall of the change room to kill Kagome. Just when he had jumped over the top of the change room door he realized something...he had jumped over the wrong door. And there in the middle of the change room was and fat women trying on a thong. She quickly grabbed her purse and whacked him in the face as hard as she could. And, in the process sending him back over the door and slam on his face. "Okay all done...," Kagome said wail walking out of a change room five doors down. "InuYasha?" InuYasha was lying on the ground face first and his legs sticking in the air. The fat women came out of the change room, turned and spoke to Kagome. "Keep your perverted boyfriend to yourself!" She snapped at Kagome and went to pay at the front desk. "InuYasha!" Kagome yelled at him and then, she too, hit him in the head with her peruse. "OOOOWWWW!!!" InuYasha squealed. "Serves you right for spying on that women and intended to spy on me!" Kagome said.  
  
MEANWHILE...  
  
While Kagome and InuYasha were quelling in the Victoria's Secret, Songo and Miroku had gone off to explore.  
  
Miroku had his face pressed up against a window. "Songo, How do you think they get all of these animals into one spot without eating eachother? And I want to pet this dog but there seems to be some kind of invisible force field preventing me from petting it," Miroku asked Songo. (who he didn't notice run off to see the nearest hottest guy and try to get a date.) "Songo? Songo? Oh well," Miroku said to himself as he headed inside. The many animals were so cute. He loved the colours and especially their smell. He most enjoyed the parrot that said weird sayings like: "I have a goat in my pants!" "Yes, I do enjoy sports such as dandelion collecting and treasure hunting (in my nose!!!)"  
  
And the all popular "Hi" Neat! Miroku thought. He had to get one, two, three, all of them. But where would he get the money? He probably wouldn't be able to get the money off Kagome. "No way!" She would say to him. An employee put a sign up in the window of the store and then Miroku got a good idea.  
  
MEANWHILE...  
  
Songo had been searching for hours and had only managed to get a date with a hot guy and the mascot for McDonald's. She would never be able to find a date. What would she do?  
  
MEANWHILE...  
  
"Kagome what is that scent?" InuYasha asked Kagome after running out of the Victoria's secret. "I don't...WAAAA!" Before she could finish her sentence InuYasha had run off chasing the beautiful smell that InuYasha found so good. When Kagome finally caught up with him she had just seen him run into the pet store. Kagome ran in after him. "What do you sm...(gasp)" Before Kagome could finish her sentence (again) she saw InuYasha standing at the foot of one of the employees. It was Miroku dressed in a P.J.'s Pet Shop uniform. "Miroku what in seven hells are you doing?" InuYasha asked him. "There, There," Miroku told InuYasha in a baby voice. "Small puppy doggies shouldn't say that sort of things to people. Here is a nice treat for you." Miroku handed InuYasha a cookie and InuYasha ran off to go eat it. "You got a Job!?!" Kagome screamed. "Yeah" Miroku replied. "Why what do you need I will buy it for you." Kagome said "Really! Wait I signed a contract saying I can't leave for a week at least," Miroku replied. "Why didn't you say that to me earlier?" "Because I had to go try on new languor because someone (glares at InuYasha) has been looking through my clothing to find suitable things to fry on the BQ! (Barbecue)"Kagome yells so InuYasha can hear what she is saying. InuYasha stops eating the cookie the Miroku gave him. "It wasn't my fault your mom told me how to make dinner on the outdoor standing fireplace! (That is what InuYasha calls a barbecue.)" InuYasha yells back. "Well that doesn't mean that you can fry my bikini!" She yelled twice as loud back to InuYasha. Frightened, InuYasha ducked behind a fish tank and continued to eat his cookie. "Well Miroku, have fun in you new job, I have to go get this big baby (glares at InuYasha again) a leash because he can't stop drooling at the sight of pretty women (and sometimes men)," Kagome says. InuYasha barking at the cats and then after hearing Kagome whimpers and hides behind the fish tank again. "I have just what you need!" Miroku said with a smile on his face. "Genuine state of the art leashes only $2.99 now on sale" he coughs. "Are you all right Miroku?" Kagome asked. "Fine, Fine, Fine," Miroku replies. Kagome attaches the leash and collar to InuYasha. "Lets go InuYasha," Kagome says with a happy voice. Kagome walks out of the store holding the leash and tugging at it because InuYasha is still sitting and glaring at Miroku. "I am going to kill you for this," InuYasha tells Miroku. "Come on InuYasha, they are having a sale on mini skirts!" Kagome says as she tugs on the leash. And pulls InuYasha out of the store. "You hear me! I am going to kill you!" InuYasha yells as he gets dragged out of the store. "So nice to see happy customers leave. Well better get back to work!" Miroku says to himself and starts organizing the shelves.  
Chapter Two: The Frying Pan Obsession  
  
InuYasha hadn't said anything for a whole five minutes. Something was wrong. Kagome thought it was nothing and holding the leash firmly in her hand. She tugged but InuYasha wouldn't move. "Come on InuYasha, Lets go," She gave the leash one hard tug and he still wasn't moving. Kagome looked over her shoulder to see if everything was all right. To her surprise InuYasha wasn't even at the end of the leash. Whale she was looking for a good deal on a bikini he had tied the leash to a pole. (Which had magically appeared for this chapter.) "Where could he have gotten off to?" Kagome asked herself. Then she ran to the nearest speaker.  
  
MEANWHILE...  
  
InuYasha thought that the trick he had played on Kagome was a good one. At least that would by him some time to get out of here. That's when he saw the frying pan store. He had instantly fallen in love.  
  
Screw Kagome he thought. The Frying pan is so sexy. InuYasha ran into the store and started flirting with the frying pans. That's when on the speaker the announcement came on. It was Kagome and she was singing.  
  
"Bring back, bring back, Oh, bring back my doggie to me, to me, Bring back, bring back, Oh, bring back my doggie to me,"  
  
MEANWHILE...  
  
Songo still needed a date. She had decided to go and look at the clothing store. She saw many different types of clothing. (Well what do you expect to find in a clothing store?) Then she saw one that would shirley attract hot guys...  
  
MEANWHILE...  
  
InuYasha had found the perfect frying pan when Kagome had walked in. InuYasha quickly stuffed it in his shirt. "InuYasha what are you doing!?!" Kagome said as she grabbed him by the ear. "This was suppose to be a forcive shopping spree. Lets go InuYasha." (That means that she had to force him to come with her.) "You said that you would come and help me try on bikinis," Kagome told him. Then InuYasha's face light up. "Hel-p you try on the bikinis?" InuYasha said dreamfully. "EW! You nasty perverted dog! Sit!" Kagome yelled. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" InuYasha screamed.  
Chapter Three: Bikini Sale  
  
"Ow!" InuYasha squealed. "Serves you right for saying that dirty... thing about me." Kagome scolded him as they both walked into the bikini store. "What do you think of this one?" Kagome asked InuYasha. She held up a pink unicorn bikini with sequence and sparkles. I would look so hot in that. InuYasha thought. Maybe I could try it on but how to get Kagome away from it? I know. "That's a very nice bikini but I would get the red one." InuYasha said trying to get Kagome to put the bikini down so he could try it on. "Okay, I will listen to you." Kagome told him. As she started to walk away InuYasha reached for the bikini. "But, InuYasha this better not be one of your schemes to try on that bikini." Kagome said as she left to go find a red bikini. InuYasha quickly grabbed the bikini and darted for the change rooms. Once in the change room he finally got changed into the unicorn bikini. After putting on the bikini he tided his hair up with the belt from his kimono. He next put on fake eyelashes, eye shadow, lipstick and did his nails. (Which he had all stolen from Kagome.) He walked out of the change rooms thinking I am so hot. (By accident he did the model walk. You know the walk that the models do down the runway.) He walked perfectly and all the men that were in the bikini store with their wives, (Or trying them on for their own interest, Like InuYasha) Gasped and thought that he was a she. ( In simpler terms for those who have and I.Q less than 1,000,000 all of the men thought that InuYasha was a women.) "That was spectacular!" a voice shouted from behind. InuYasha whirled around to see a British man running straight at him. (That scares me) "That was the best modeling I have ever seen in my day. Will you model for this bikini store?" He asked. "But you see I real am a..." InuYasha couldn't finish his sentence (That seems to happen a lot in this story) before the British man butted in. "You have the hips, the lips, (Hey that rhymed!) and what are those on your head?" The man asked. "Oh these well... um... I...." InuYasha managed stuttered out. "InuYasha what are you doing?" It was Kagome. She looked angry. "InuYasha, I over heard the whole thing. You can't become a model for this store because of the number one reason, YOU ARE A MAN!" "Yah, well, Men can be pretty too!" InuYasha told her. "You're a man! But...But...You disgust me! Security get them out of here!" Two large men dragged Kagome and InuYasha out of the store. InuYasha was glad that he hadn't left his clothes in the change room. Speaking of clothes the store employee hadn't taken back the bikini. Ya! InuYasha thought, I can still be pretty! InuYasha grind and was mesmerized by the thought of him in a bikini. All of his happy thoughts stopped when he thought of Kiade in a bikini. Where as Kagome was crying that she had been kicked out of a woman's store and it was all InuYasha's fault. Stupid InuYasha, she thought, He just had to look pretty didn't he? Oh well, She couldn't stay mad at InuYasha for long. With his sweet eyes and... oh no! Kagome was falling in love with InuYasha again. That's when she saw him pull the frying pan out of his shirt. Then she fell in love with the frying pan. Then Kagome saw InuYasha French kiss the frying pan. That's when she got up, snatched the frying pan from InuYasha's hands and started to run. "I think I have found my one true love she yelled back at InuYasha. And looking at her reflection in the frying pan. "Kagome, that's not fair! I fell in love with it first!" InuYasha yelled to her and chased her trying to get the frying pan.  
  
ONCE AT HOME...  
  
Kagome ran inside the house and slammed and locked the door behind her. I have just enough time to hide the frying pan, she thought, I can hide it under my bed. She ran upstairs and put the frying pan under her bed. She closed the door to her room. She heard a crack and rushed to the other room. She open the door and the lights were off. "Birdy, birdy, birdy..." a voice kept repeating. Kagome's eyes had ejusted to the light. She saw Miroku sitting in a ball in the middle of the room rocking back and forth. "Miroku are you all right?" Kagome asked him. "HELLO! HELLO! HELLO!" the lights flicked on and an army of birds were sitting in the room around Miroku. He grabbed Kagome's skirt and his pupils were dilated. "So much poop, need to clean." Miroku said. "Okay, leaving now." Kagome said and slowly back out of the room and shut the door behind her. 


End file.
